Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Cali Dreamin

I have found a place amidst the wasteland
of myself
you can see straight through to the bottom
clear, and bright like liquid serenity.
I have found a place amidst the desert 
of myself
it holds the pieces of our past
millions of glimmering sand bits
of hope
jaw bones and giant hunks of our mountainside
rest beneath the current
ecstatic palms shoot out their arms,
some yearn for a taste of the ocean.
I have found a place where I can be
of myself
where the sun can whisper to my bones
the aqua tongue continues
licking
licking
licking the edges
until the shoreline has no choice but to melt
pulled into that slow dance.
I have found a place that reminds me
of myself
floating over, and under, the peaks
being drawn far away to dark water
that does not resemble this place, my oasis
verdant on it’s soft jawline
asks me to close my eyes
erase the memories etched behind these lids
eradicate the rotten innards of my skull
pluck the tangled kelp from my bowel.
I have found a place that is the savior
of myself
The waves of this place, the humming
and pulsing of the sea
can be seen across the yellow beams of sunlight
and heard when, 
softly and hidden, 
the moon chants to the water
cooing, 
flirting from far away.
I have found a place that I made
of myself
I don’t know if it’s really there,
except 
when I can feel the powdered sugar
sand between my toes
and the crystals have changed my lips into
salty
soft pink geodes.
I know it’s there when I close my eyes
and the ruffled leaves wordlessly chatter to themselves
but I see their mouthes move,
I see the way they bow, also

in awe of the place I have found.

Friday, May 12, 2017

For past.present.and future Kate



BE PRESENT
MAKE LOVE
MAKE TEA
AVOID SMALL TALK
EMBRACE CONVERSATION
BUY A PLANT, WATER IT
MAKE YOUR BED
MAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S BED
HAVE A SMART MOUTH
HAVE A QUICK WIT
RUN
MAKE ART
CREATE
SWIM IN THE OCEAN
SWIM IN THE RAIN
TAKE CHANCES
ASK QUESTIONS
MAKE MISTAKES
LEARN
KNOW YOUR WORTH
LOVE FIERCELY
FORGIVE QUICKLY
LET GO OF WHAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU HAPPY
GROW

BE HAPPY

Thursday, May 11, 2017

A song of fire

I haven't felt the fire lately.
More of a drowning sensation
each day I am submerging deeper within the waves
and further from a breath of air

It's hard to say if I will rise again
but
maybe I will come about full
circle, back from the watery grave

As I tunnel through the cold muddy trenches
I can't help but wonder where the flame has gone

and then I realize
I have been the one hiding it from myself all along
lying on the embers
letting it lick my sides
and all I need to do
is get out of the way

Thursday, May 4, 2017

just a mental tidbit

Image result for alice in wonderland rabbit hole

It’s days like this,
days like this 
when I wonder where this path will go.
On and on down this rabbit hole
no marked destination,
just the scandal of my intrepid soul.

-K.V.Kenney

The Complete Breakfast shake!



The great thing about this shake is that it gets EVERYTHING done all at once!
You get your caffeine fix, your protein, and some extra nutrients to keep you full all morning!
I named this beauty the coffee cake protein shake because it tastes like that wonderful dense cake from Starbucks! (without ANY of the guilt)

What you'll need:

1 scoop Vanilla Protein powder (I used Vega brand plant based protein)
1tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp cloves
2 medjool dates
unsweetened vanilla almond milk (as much as necessary for blending and desired thickness)
coffee (cold brew is best)
ice
and frozen cauliflower!!

blend well for at least 30 seconds and enjoy!

super satisfying and super simple

Monday, April 24, 2017

attempting a new type of poetry


Part 1

Can you guess what has bested me today?
An unmeasurable power
bound only by those who choose to see it bound.
It’s weightless as it seeps through a set of teeth
only to settle 
and crush any hearts that have been let off their leash.

______________________________________________________________________

Part 2

I’ve decided to bequeath this day to you.
Even rodents and scavengers deserve their day of glory.
but
swift is the passing of the sun from crest to crest,
swifter is my retribution. 
Yes, you have won this day,
but even as you read this your glory fades..
seconds have passed and
I have stolen each one of them from you
using that same unmeasurable power.



K.V.Kenney

GREEN MACHINE- Banana-less smoothie




-1/2 avocado 
-frozen cauliflower (prob 3/4 cup... I eyeball it)
-3 or 4 dates
-1 tbsp chlorophyll
@vitalproteins collagen powder
- nut milk of choice (I used water, but I think a nut milk will be better!)
- liquid stevia (I put 10 drops, but add as much or little as you like!)
BLEND WELL AND ENJOY 😊

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

A Choir of Animals



watercolor Tattoo | watercolor tattoo #tattoo #watercolor #artist unlisted:

why don’t we wear our beasts upon our heads
like festive furs for the world to see
because once we have been decorated
in our own depravity
made our missteps into music
from there
something lovely emerges
from those unhinged jaws
echoes our song
and it is our own to keep 

-K.V. Kenney

Monday, April 10, 2017

Experimenting with Sonnets..although I hate structure!

welcome love, to the wasteland and the wiles
oh won’t you sit beside and drink remains
of past dears and feast on silenced reconciles
 never will you taste such fruitful stains

let’s dance until you’ve ground your feet to dust
sip quick this wine and pray for its delight
your eyes a verdant green, fresh and free of lust
no shade finds home in those that bring you sight 

but smooth and sudden is the devilish grace
reveals a know in you unknown to me
a dazzling darkness plays about your face
then gone like wind on an unmoving sea


I reckon none intend to leave this game

never have two players been so same

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Land of Dreams



Each morning is the tacit foe that signifies our end
arrogant and gluttonous in its manner
thief of our light 
and now here it is,
drawing me away from my dreamy chasm.
Already 
my lips yearn to venture down your spinal cord again
blissfully lost amongst your edges
I’ll never let go of our ruffled sheets
never forget the pricking of each hair
electric
tousled effortlessly into the chaos of our kisses
the symphony of our limbs
making music
I will find that place again
Even if I have to carve the sun from the sky
and pick its cosmic pieces from my flesh

forever

-K.V. Kenney

Friday, March 31, 2017

GUILTLESS Cauliflower Crusted Pizza di Verdura (Gluten,nut, and soy free/ Low Carb/HIGH protein)



Ever crave pizza?

Who am I kidding?! EVERYONE CRAVES PIZZA
but the aftermath of eating a huge slice of Pizza Hut is no fun for the tummy. So I decided to throw together a super yummy and nutrient dense pizza of my own!

I used Outer Aisle Gourmet Cauliflower pizza crust as my base. The crust is a little flimsy, but overall the flavor was amazing and I was happy! I put the nutritional information down below so that you could fully appreciate the product! 9g of protein???!!!! YES PLEASE



























Toppings: (all of which are not measured and added according to preference)

  • sautΓ©ed asparagus 
  • purple onion
  • crimini mushroom (all three items I sautΓ©ed in a pan prior to cooking to ensure they got fully cooked! The crust only called for 15 minutes)
  • arugula (just a handful)
  • garlic
  • basil (fresh is best for both basil and garlic, but that might be the Italian in me!)
  • parmesan cheese (I used Trader Joe's Brand)
  • spicy italian chicken sausage! (HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS/ they're fully cooked and all natural- also from TJ's)












ENJOY !

________________________________________



Tuesday, March 28, 2017

An account on Joy


There I was sitting in my softest, most forgiving sweatpants and tank top while the scent of coffee grinds meandered lazily through the shop. That day the subtle shuffle of people coming and going was catching my attention more than usual. It was, to me, a shouting reminder of the fact that there is an extremely accessible exit nearby that I can use. All in all Starbucks does a really fantastic job creating a tranquil work environment; there are plenty of outlets for the worker bee/student, the wifi is strong and FREE, and they always play the least invasive background music. I enjoy frequenting cafes for these reasons whether it is for my daily fix of caffeine, devouring tiny colorful donuts, or sucking up all the free wifi. 
This particular endeavor into the world of Norah Jones playlists, and espresso add shots, I was attempting to begin the very first pages of my novel. For months I had been scribbling onto anything within arms reach when an idea decided to plant itself into my skull. Napkins, notebooks, notepads, computers, phones, even my arm (more than once). Now had come the time to ACTUALLY begin the writing. It gave me that “I just ate rotten thai food from last month” kind of feeling that sits hard and heavy in your gut. As I sat in this bustling Starbucks trying to scrounge around for the courage to start page 1, all I could hear was the sound of a frequently opened door. I didn’t hear the blender mixing up magical frappucino concoctions, or the barista calling out misspelled names, I heard the avenue of my escape being used by everyone but me!  I felt the corners of my brain attempting to divert its attention on anything other than the beginning lines of my book. My eyes flicked around the surface of the dark wooden table I condemned myself to. Slowly, methodically, my line of vision traced along the lighter grains in the wood. I knew once I began writing I was done for, so I was finding any kind of distraction possible.
Why would someone consciously subject themselves to anything that creates such an upheaval of emotion? It seems somewhat masochistic of me to attempt writing a novel if the result is a surge of anxiety, nausea, and lack of sleep...but what I also experience is a crippling wave of joy. It’s the kind of feeling that tears up your insides and leaves them strewn across the floor, yet at the same time you are whole. This is why I make that choice.
There have been countless times when I begin writing something, my heart is in tangles, and the end result is this uncanny sense of enlightenment and release. The process is not easy, it’s scary. It is so scary that I often avoid it because once you begin, it engulfs your being and there is no going back. When I think of my writing and what it does to me, I imagine a stripping away of EVERYTHING and seeing all my fears laid out on a table, and then it nourishes my soul.
Now, there are other things in this world that we can experience that don’t dig as deep into you. To put it simply, they’re going to be nicer to you. I like to think of them as marshmallows, these surface level things. They’re sweet, fluffy, easily attained (over and over again), require little to zero emotions, and give you primal satisfaction. Marshmallows can come in a variety of flavors, if you will, and will make you happy. For me its singing.. loudly, off key, with an air microphone, and erratic swooshing arm movements. I would like to add that it’s immensely more fun if these things occur while I’m driving in my car! What a glamorous feeling; the windows are rolled down, fresh air is blowing my hair around, and if I play it just loud enough I truly start to believe I sound good. Yes, I love my faux rockstar abilities, but I inherit nothing more than a childish grin across my face.  Happiness is something you can feel without any alterations in your core being, but I wouldn’t consider it true Joy if it didn’t shatter me from the inside out.
Imagine a day on the beach; the sweet, salty breeze interlaced with the sighs of each breaking wave. Warmth from the sun explores the expanse of your body while millions of sparkling sand bits sleep beneath you. As you lie in this moment you notice a faint drizzle of ocean kisses, and that you’re happy. Now I want you to think about that same sun, the respectable light in the sky just far enough to be pleasurable on your skin while sitting on the beach. The next thing I want you to do is imagine carrying the sun inside your belly. This is the difference between things that make you happy and Joy. Its like a giant cosmic firework has rooted itself within you, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if it is going to burn you alive. 
I think it’s important to clarify that I don’t discredit the importance of having happiness in our lives. What I would like to do is coerce you into letting Joy ravage you.  It’s so easy to turn away from things that are frightening and wild, intrusive and demanding. I understand!  Writing is probably my greatest joy, and it gnaws away at me... constantly. It sets my bones on fire, but leaves me with some out of this world magic that brings me back to life. Happiness is what makes life fun, but it is surrendering to Joy that makes life worth living. It would be a colorless existence if you didn’t dare to carry the sun at least once. 

Monday, March 27, 2017

5 ingredient HEALTHY peanut butter cookies! VEGAN/ GLUTEN FREE/ REFINED SUGAR FREE!!



GUILT FREE 5 ingredient peanut butter cookies! 
Vegan/Gluten free/Refined sugar free!

easy to make and even easier to eat!

Prep time: 5 min
Cook TIme: 15
Yield: roughly 15-16 cookies

what you’ll need:

  • 2 very brown spotty bananas (* this is important because they are responsible for the sweetness in these goodies!)

  • 3/4 cup peanut or almond butter

  • 2 cups certified gluten free oats

  • 1 tbsp chia seeds

  • maple syrup (add according to desired sweetness! I used about 1/4 cup)

optional- add raw dark chocolate chocolate chips or create your own chocolate drizzle like me!


hazelnut drizzle:
powdered sugar
vanilla extract 
hazelnut stevia ( I used 5 drops from the brand Sweetdrops) 


Instructions:

1- Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees

2- Mash the bananas in a bowl until they form a “paste” texture

3- Add the other ingredients and mix thoroughly

4- Drop spoonfuls onto a cookie sheet and make for 15-16 minutes until they are firm and slightly golden brown

(if you’re adding the drizzle, you can do so right away!)


let them cool as long as you can practice self control and then ENJOY!!!

 xo @eatwithkate

Thursday, March 23, 2017

You know who you are



I'm only funky when I think I might not see you. My heart has been pounding all morning. Maybe it was all the blow I did...or maybe I'm crazy in love with you...Muah.:

I like the way your heart lays on me
It doesn’t have to
carve
out
space
Leaves no upturned earth like a gravedigger in a yard
But it scoops out all my rotten parts
With a soft unyielding hand
Like I’m a peach
And you chose me
Despite the weathered spots
Riddling my flesh
You remind me that it’s safe enough to be
Decadent, sweet
And that my juices linger on your tongue

I like the way your heart lays on me
Humming atop the cage protecting my own
Until each bone from my chest cavity let’s you in
To the sacred space
It takes time
But you’re patient
And you can always call me back to you
Like I’m a seabird
Searching for a place to land
And I’m a wretched forgetful thing, but

I like the way your heart lays on me
It reminds me that it’s You
And will always be You






Kate.V. Kenney





Monday, March 20, 2017

more poetry



it is violent
how the sun is drained away
each day
to a low ebb
but there is also hope
when she's swiftly reborn as the moon
her farewell kisses set the sky on fire
with a still eloquence
and then across the hush of the heavens
I can see it
written in the stars
that a host of possibility awaits

-Kate.V.Kenney

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

It is for this reason that I carry on in my love affair with words




Image may contain: people smiling, one or more people and closeup

What a ravishing exchange you worked out with the world
each day
each damn day you let in the cold
and suffer in the wreckage of your mind
but I think,
 its really the hearts that have nearly been ice,
the hearts broken more than twice


those are the ones that light every star in the sky


-K.V.Kenney

_____________________________________________________________________________


I originally wrote this piece for a dear friend of mine. It's so interesting how words seems to transcend the meaning we delegate to them; words almost always end up meaning so much more, in ways we might not have initially intended. 

It is for this reason that I  carry on in my love affair with words. 

Words: inky time and space travelers. The rebellious paradox that screams in utter silence. 

Today I read over this poem and realized that it was no longer just written about my friend, but also written about me.  It was a queer, but inspiring, thing to become aware of.  It was yet another display of how language is the vehicle by which our heart flies!

 because our words live on a different kind of plane, they are not bound to the rules of existence that we are; one day I can read a piece of literature, and it seems one way...the next day it can sing a whole new song!

It is for this reason that I carry on in my love affair with words.

earlier, I watched multiple faces morph with understanding  as a fellow classmate shared a series of poems. It was a series he had written during a parent's battle and loss with cancer. I watched a room full of strangers quite literally be moved from disconnectedness, to a place of unity. His words, spewing from tears in his soul, echoed into the tears of others without him intending it. 
WORDS. 
that's all it was.
 His words, written for himself, were able to permeate the boundaries that separated us. I could feel it buzzing on the edges of my skin as he spoke, the words were meant for him...but spoke to everyone. Even if they hadn't had cancer... they knew someone, or knew a friend who had been subject to its wrath. Even beyond that, people reacted to his humanity. Black and white letters on a page were able to lift off the sheet and move each of us


It is for this reason that I carry on in my love affair with words.








Tuesday, February 28, 2017


Lunch 🍴 



baby spinach// garlic roasted broccoli// curried garbanzo beans // and raw walnuts for some crunch πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰ if you're like me, you can never decide on just one thing to eat... so I kinda just add EVERYTHING together and make a messy bowl of heaven πŸ’πŸΌπŸ’― story of my life πŸ˜‚





Saturday, February 25, 2017

Ode to a lover


Wishing and wishing into a star-less night
that you will take me away 
to that place where you’ve hidden your cosmic gems
in fear that the shadows will shake with laughter
and devour them whole
don’t you know it is only amidst the darkness
that you can ever see the moonlight
and
 I am not afraid I tell you
to journey through your dreams
Let’s wander 
and assault the deadly beasts that cry 
in the shaded parts
of the forest you’ve grown inside
the hollows of my heart 
 colored the same as yours
except
The things I fear are not what you’d think
they are the little things 
like how long will you stay, 
are you with me on this ride?

Thursday, February 23, 2017

#wordsonwednesday (even if it's Thursday)



Image may contain: 1 person, outdoor



Why is it that you fear? 
 I ask because it seduces and captures each of us, 
but on the other side 
You can dance in the chaos and the fear is but a flame with no food 
So, Let it starve 
As you rise from the ashes!
Wear your beasts upon your head 
Like festive furs for the world to see 
And with trembling hands plucking at the stars,
adorn yourself in strength

-K.V.K.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Rainy day thoughts


Today, I have found myself feeling both the pleasure and burden that comes with great epiphanies. It’s something similar to the discomfort that follows the next day after a deep tissue massage; you would think that since you are “fixing” the problem areas you would feel rejuvenated, even stronger when they have been manipulated and set into their right place, but instead it is painful. It hurts. It hurts in ways that make you wish you had just left the gnarled muscles and tendons as they were. It isn’t until later that you reap the benefits of the work you have done to your body, and the same seems to be said for this epiphany that has bestowed itself upon me. 
It’s a seemingly simple adjustment, this new thought I have come across. I  merely realized how pivotal, and absolutely necessary, it is to be cognitive; it is so utterly vital to never forget we each are living, and perceiving, life through our own personal lens. It is in the same moment that we must also be aware that when we are looking through our own lens, we can sometimes lose sight of how another person is doing (or viewing). My current emotional status is completely independent of yours, but at the same time it is interconnected and can be changed by your emotional status. 
We find ourselves in this perpetual state of  paradoxical “isolated interconnectedness” where we must endure in our own personal way, but can still permeate that boundary without even knowing it. It is at this point in my introspective process that I realize how much easier it would be to plea ignorance about this knowledge, but alas it has been called to my attention and must be addressed; the backbone of my being thus got the proverbial adjustment it needed. The most wonderful part of the whole thing is that the lesson was actually taught to me by someone completely unaware of the fact that they were doing so, thus strengthening the lesson itself that we effect others without even knowing it...
I already know for myself that when I am stressed out I tend to withdraw from loved ones; I break plans, and let my outward affection fall at the waist-side.  I am currently sitting in a Starbucks as I write this piece, and I am here with my boyfriend of a year. We are sitting face to face at one of those tiny round tables most likely meant for only one person, but here we are nonetheless. Two laptops, two different coffee elixirs, two different hearts. I reach out my hand across the tiny overcrowded table and grab his wrist as he types up his essays for medical school applications. He looks up and says something along the lines of how he is happy I’m finally the one showing affection again. It isn’t an angry statement, it’s not even colored with a lecturing tone. Even so, my heart is saddened; it made me realize that while I am on my own side of the table stressing about my overdrawn bank accounts and the impending doom of being 22 and not having an exact career plan or medical school essays I need to write...I have been building walls around my heart.  I must’ve forgotten that while I am stressing about my feelings of insignificance, he has been stressing about feeling insignificant TO ME. You see, we all operate in a crazy way; perceiving the current state around us and calculating how we feel about it, or what we need to do, but as we do this SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.

  After this exceptionally brief exchange,  I went and sat next to my person and gave him a big hug; we embraced for a long time. Two solo entities, completely different thoughts and emotions, yet still connected and effected by each other. Broken and mended by ourselves and others.  I am reawakened again, on this day, by the awesome power that we each hold to share love and how it knows no boundaries.  I am here today to remind you not to get lost within yourself. 

Sunday, February 5, 2017

What I'd Rather Be




If you must know
I will tell you
the decision I made with myself

I’d rather be broken and bloody
than warmed in a realm of just comfort
I want to feel rage, to fall amongst the stars
open and raw
shaking
fire and ice all at once

I’d rather the scars and the burning
than numbing to hide from the fear
I want it to singe the edges of my sanity
Let me die of heartache
and be reborn by the magic of the sea
washed to shore in pieces
but stronger than ever before

I’d rather be broken and bloody
because the marks left behind 
will sing of my rebellion
the dirt under my nails can whisper the tale 
of how I clawed out of my own grave

and from time to time
I might crack
I might waiver
but in my earnest refusal
I will rise
for I was born in the belly of a storm
and I am a child of its carnage

and when you are choking on the ashes 
you can see the way hope has etched itself into my spine
amidst the tears and gnashing teeth
in between the skewed heart
in that middle place 
I have woven myself back together

And you can see
in a brilliant contrast to the darkness
the stitches
you can see my unconquerable soul

I used to be the one laughing with glass shards in my mouth
howling hollow words into the night
and feeding the sickness
the idea that we are porcelain
perfect 
unmoved by this world
and I looked out from eyes that refused to see
ate my unsaid words 
and gorged myself on fear

It’s funny to think of how starved I was
how I neglected the fruits of truth 

So, my dearest ones
my fellow stumblers
thats what we are
stumbling about through the wreckage
licking our wounds and setting fire to our bones
let us feast together on things of substance
let us rejoice in the trials
we can dance together until we have ground our feet into dust
we can tend to the truths and mistakes
and cry and be broken 
we can acknowledge regret and
 then lay it to rest and move forward
in our imperfect dancehall.
Let’s each take a seat side by side
join hands
and let ourselves unravel
then stitch ourselves back together again
as one

I’d rather be broken and bloody
with my brothers and sisters alike
be weak and then become strong
sing to the moons
and burn with the sun
and delight in the changes we have begun

As long as I’m here
I’ll be dizzy and lost
searching for the steps to the song
it’s slow and deranged 
and I can’t get enough
and I won’t stop until the Earth claims me

I won’t stop until I am one with the Frost

Kate.V.Kenney

Cali Dreamin

I have found a place amidst the wasteland of myself you can see straight through to the bottom clear, and bright like liquid sereni...